T*steful Roundup: Fuck Glendale Forever Edition

Once again, it's Victory Monday. But it doesn't feel like it. Contributors, guest-posters, and all sorts of rascals from the BeastGlobe wrote stuff about Seattle's costly win over Arizona. Enjoy these words from all of these nerds. Sean: When Pyrrus, the king of Epirus, agreed to assist the Greek colonies in their war against the … Continue reading T*steful Roundup: Fuck Glendale Forever Edition

IT’S BEAK WEEK

Folks, the Seattle Seahawks are playing the Arizona Cardinals this week; the team that prevented us from making the playoffs last year; our opponent in the infamous Blood Bowl (my preferred nickname being The Evening Redness in the West); the recipient of a 58-0 beatdown that is the second biggest win in the NFL since the merger … Continue reading IT’S BEAK WEEK

T*steful Roundup: Earl Thomas Edition

My own opinion on No. 29, Seattle Seahawks, is crystearl clearl: PAY. HIM. We'll get to my paragraphs later. First, though, in regard to what to do with Earl Thomas, here are more words from more nerds. Including some from a new contributor. Jesse (Editor's Note: Say hey to our newest contributor Jesse Catastrophe, errybody!) … Continue reading T*steful Roundup: Earl Thomas Edition

The Seahawks are, despite all odds, still alive

The Ringer NFL Show does a great job breaking down the entire league, which is why I was so surprised when Kevin Clark discussed how he expects Seattle to be in contention for the worst roster in the NFL this season if it wasn’t for Russell Wilson (this may have been on a Bill Simmons … Continue reading The Seahawks are, despite all odds, still alive

Thr3e r3asons to b3 optimistic about th3 S3ahawks

Regression to the mean Say it with me y’all, “Re-gresh-shun”.  The Seahawks had a historically awful run game last year.  In fact, they lost about twice as much EPA as the average run on a per play basis.  If rushing is generally like shooting your offense in the foot, Seattle was amputating the whole damn … Continue reading Thr3e r3asons to b3 optimistic about th3 S3ahawks

A Tasteful 53 Man Projection

Your Seahawks have now finished "Dress Rehearsal" week. Though most of the neckbeards already know that game provides the best insight as to who is winning positional battles. 'The Purge' as I (not Evan Hill) famously coined, has created opportunity for young blood to come forward, and so far, we've had  pleasant surprises from our … Continue reading A Tasteful 53 Man Projection

T*steful Roundup: Chargers Edition

Welcome back to THE T*STEFUL ROUNDUP. Contributors, guest-posters, and all sorts of rascals from the BeastGlobe will write up a brief chunk of text discussing their thoughts from the previous night's game. It will likely be a combination of humor, insight, knowledge, ineptitude, and everything in between. Enjoy these words from all of these nerds. … Continue reading T*steful Roundup: Chargers Edition