Seahawks expectations: buffering… buffering… please wait

How good are the Seahawks? They're 2-0, but only plus-3 in the point department. They're led by a nearly flawless Russell Wilson, if he ever gets time to throw. They can run, they can pass, they can defend when they're not fucking up a Hail Mary situation or backed up to their own goalposts after … Continue reading Seahawks expectations: buffering… buffering… please wait

Seattle SH*T update: Bracket narrows to the Swe*t 16

Hey. T*steful Bracketology is our tournament wing full of ridiculous ideas we can't wait to unveil. Presently the committee has given you the Seattle SH*T (Sports H*story Tournament), with more future contests on the way as the months and years of our fleeting lives fly by. A quick recap of the second round is probably … Continue reading Seattle SH*T update: Bracket narrows to the Swe*t 16

Seattle SH*T update: Newest bracket enters second round, and it’s heating up like NBA Jam

Did anyone else choose the Sonics all through the 1990s on NBA Jam just for the alley-oops that reminded them of the actual alley-oops Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp would pull off in real life? God, I hope those guys play as themselves from 25 years ago whenever they get the chance. The Seattle SH*T … Continue reading Seattle SH*T update: Newest bracket enters second round, and it’s heating up like NBA Jam

There’s a reason Week 1 played out like it did

That reason is game script. Oh. Wait. No no. No no, nonono. You're thinking of when coaches discuss ahead of time how best to create pathways to victory, through efficient and strategic playcalling, then follow through on game day. So, A) you're thinking of another team, and B) a different kind of script. Think, more, … Continue reading There’s a reason Week 1 played out like it did

John Schneider Clowneys the NFL again

If it’s cutdown day, that means John Schneider is probably John Schneidering. This time he dealt spare parts and a duplicate (triplicate?) draft pick for a top 5 defensive end. Which just so happened to be the Seahawks’ most glaring offseason need. With Jadeveon Fucking Clowney opposite a suddenly-ready-to-go Ziggy Ansah, the pass rush is … Continue reading John Schneider Clowneys the NFL again

The Seattle SH*T: our newest, worst bracketology mutant comes to life

What do to for a sequel to March Maddening, our highly successful* bracket from last spring? Knowing, naturally, that sequels suck, as do those who manufacture them. *annoying It would be no small task to set up a contest as farcical as Tom Cable vs. Chone Figgins for the title of most reviled local sports … Continue reading The Seattle SH*T: our newest, worst bracketology mutant comes to life