Seattle SH*T update: Bracket narrows to the Swe*t 16

Hey. T*steful Bracketology is our tournament wing full of ridiculous ideas we can’t wait to unveil. Presently the committee has given you the Seattle SH*T (Sports H*story Tournament), with more future contests on the way as the months and years of our fleeting lives fly by.

A quick recap of the second round is probably necessary so you know where everyone’s coming from and how they got here.

Region 1: The Lore of Ancients

  • UW wins football title 53, Steve Largent blows up Mike Harden 47. The top-seeded Huskies squeak by, an ominous sign for their overall chances.
  • Seahawks upset Miami in Miami 68, Huskies trounce Miami in Miami 32. Both games were from 1984. The pros take the day over the amateurs. But the only loser here is the town of Miami.
  • In a mild upset, Ken Griffey’s wall-climbing catch, the 6 seed, eliminated the memory of the Sonics blowing their first-round series against the Nuggets. People have finally had enough of Dikembe Mutombo’s tears?
  • But the Sonics’ title in 1979 advanced, beating Shawn Kemp’s legendary dunk-and-point humiliation of Alton Lister, even if this result too was close, 55-45.

Round 3 looks like this:

(1) UW football wins national title vs. (5) Seahawks defeat Dolphins in ’84 divisional

(6) Ken Griffey climbs walls, yes he does vs. (2) Sonics win 1979 NBA championship

griffey grainy 917.jpg

Everything was grainy 28 years ago.

Region 2: Refuse to Lose

As mentioned way earlier, recently, now, and will be in the future, this part of bracket is baseball-heavy — it covers the 1995 and 2001 Mariners and everything in between. Results failed to surprise, after an eventful first round that saw Mike Cameron’s four-homer game pull off the tournament’s biggest upset.

  • The top-seeded ALDS-ending walk-off party from ’95 destroyed Ichiro’s throw for the ages, 80-20.
  • One negative memory snuck through here to the third round, as the M’s ALCS Game 4 debacle, in which they blew an eighth-inning lead and then got walked off by the Yankees, got past Cammy’s big day, 68-32.
  • Sonics in the ’96 Finals took out Huskies in the Rose Bowl, no big surprise as the 3 seed beats the 6, 53-47
  • Finally, the M’s 116th win did just enough to edge Edgar’s ALDS Game 4 exploits, 53-47 again. A lot of really good competitive games in the second round, which will probably continue as the lesser events are weeded out.

Round 3 shapes up this way:

(1) The Double vs. (5) ALCS Game 4 goes wrong for 2001 Mariners

(3) Sonics win the West, head to NBA Finals in ’96 vs. (2) M’s record record 116th victory

kemp payton 917.jpg

guys,, come back,,,,

Region 3: Valleys of Death

Headlined, of course, by the Seahawks’ still-surreal experience in Super Bowl XL

  • The Seahawks losing that game obviously defeated the Seahawks reaching it, by a convincing 67-33 margin, too — a result not hard to see coming.
  • I’m wondering if the Tony Romo fumble game, a 5 seed, isn’t one of our most interesting dark horses left. That event easily eclipsed Ichiro setting a new MLB hits record, in a 74-26 rout.
  • Another mild upset was “We want the ball and we’re gonna score” taking out the Sonics’ last game in Seattle, 65-35. People like their panache, I guess. The 6 seed advances, the 3 goes home.
  • Beastquake, the 2 seed, had no problem with Isaiah Thomas’ Pac-12 tournament buzzer-beater. The final was 88-12, which doesn’t diminish the Thomas shot for the committee at all.

Round 3 slate:

(1) Seahawks lose Super Bowl XL vs. (5) Tony Romo fumble playoff win in ’07

(6) “We want the ball and we’re gonna score” from ’04 vs. (2) Beastquake

beastquake 917.jpg

Hold on, because one hell of a regional final is shaping up.

Region 4: The Glory Days

  • Some controversy here as the Felix Hernandez perfect game, a 3 seed, lost 52-48 to an exceptionally strong 6 seed, the Jermaine Kearse overtime TD catch that made the Seahawks NFC champs again. This region is a tough crowd.
  • The Tip, a deserving 1 seed, did to the Kam-Vernon hit what Kam did to Vernon in the Kam-Vernon hit. A 91-9 thumping.
  • In a fun second-round showdown, voters picked Percy Harvin’s kick return TD in XLVIII over Malcolm Smith’s pick-six in the same game. Classic 4-5 matchup.
  • And, defying no expectations whatsoever, the INT that short-circuited a dynasty, the Seahawks’ final offensive play of XLIX, advanced with a comfortable 71-29 victory over another Chancellor highlight — his playoff pick-six.

Round 3 of this stacked region:

(1) The Tip vs. (4) Percy Harvin kickoff return TD in XLVIII

(6) Kearse TD catch sends Seattle back to the Super Bowl vs. (2) That Interception

Voting resumes Wednesday. The committee expects many barns to be burned.