Did anyone else choose the Sonics all through the 1990s on NBA Jam just for the alley-oops that reminded them of the actual alley-oops Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp would pull off in real life?
God, I hope those guys play as themselves from 25 years ago whenever they get the chance.
The Seattle SH*T tournament is designed to make you remember those days, and the bad days, and the great stuff, and the not-so-great stuff from the history of Seattle sports. And now that one round is complete, and 32 games have narrowed the field, the competition is going to get more fierce.
Very few upsets in the first round, though. Every 1, 2, 3, 5 and 6 seed advanced. Should come as no surprise, since those are the unforgettable moments of the last 50 years. Can you imagine a bracket like this without Beastquake or the Super Bowl XL fiasco in the second round?
Here’s where the tourney stands. We’ll vote again next week, starting Monday.
REGION 1: THE LORE OF ANCIENTS
(1) UW football wins national title vs. (8) Steve Largent gets tasty, piping-hot revenge on Mike Harden
(4) UW football wins 1984 Orange Bowl vs. (5) Seahawks win 1984 divisional playoff in Miami
Instead of images, let’s marvel at the meeting of two epic football games involving teams from the same year, the same cities, with the same result: a resounding victory for the Seattle team that were not expected to be elite. But then, was.
(3) Sonics blow series to Nuggets in 1994, Dikembe Mutombo sobs on the court vs. (6) Ken Griffey Jr.’s best-known wall-climber Spider-Man what-the-fuck catch
(10) Shawn Kemp dunks Alton Lister into oblivion vs. (2) Sonics win that one precious title in 1979
Kemp did this in a playoff game, no less, in 1992. Iconic.
REGION 2: REFUSE TO LOSE
This region is Mariners-heavy. Every team has its Golden Age.
(1) The Double vs. (8) Ichiro’s throw to stun Terence Long at third base
(5) ALCS Game 4 missed opportunity in 2001 vs. (13) Mike Cameron hits 4 HR in a game
The lowest seed in the tournament! Glad it’s Cammy. What a breath of fresh air that guy was, at a time it was sorely needed.
(3) Sonics reach 1996 NBA Finals, finally vs. UW football wins 2001 Rose Bowl
(7) Edgar Martinez owns ALDS Game 4 with 2 HR, 7 RBI vs. (2) Mariners win their 116th game to tie an all-time MLB record
REGION 3: VALLEYS OF DEATH
The time period in which not every single thing went right for Seattle teams. Or any thing. Until January 2011.
(1) Seahawks lose Super Bowl XL in controversial fashion vs. (9) Seahawks win the NFC for the first time
(5) Tony Romo fumbles the snap, blows playoff game in Seattle vs. (4) Ichiro breaks George Sisler’s hits record
I do not know how people are gonna choose winners for some of these.
(3) Sonics play their last game in Seattle and skip town vs. (6) “We want the ball and we’re gonna score,” but they don’t
Greedy fuckers everywhere.
(10) Isaiah Thomas hits Pac-12 tournament game-winning buzzer-beater vs. (2) Beastquake
Such grace under such pressure.
REGION 4: THE GLORY DAYS
Seahawks-heavy, as you’ve guessed. It’s 2012-present, so unless like me you’re a giant Sounders fan, or like Jesse you’re a Stormista, then there hasn’t been much to root for outside of football.
(1) The Tip vs. (8) Kam Chancellor explains to Vernon Davis how the new NFC West hierarchy works
(4) Percy Harvin scores to start XLVIII’s second half vs. (5) Malcolm Smith’s pick six in the same game
They’re both pretty.
(3) Felix Hernandez’ perfect game vs. (6) Jermaine Kearse finally puts the Packers out of their NFCCG misery
(10) Chancellor ices a playoff game with Kam-on-Cam violence vs. (2) That interception, yes that one
Well, that’s a finish. And what an eightsome in this region. Sweet dreams.
Voting: Monday.
Tasteful Profanity 