T*steful Roundup: FOOTBALL IS BACK Edition

Football’s back, preseason football is football, real football is a day closer,

Only the Bloge gives you a postgame roundup. You’re in the right place, finally. Settle in and read this subpoena because you’ve been served.

Ma’s ringin the porch bell. Come n get it.



the fucked up: george fant leaving the game with an injury.  he ended up walking off on his own, but if we are denied lining up fant against sherm, we riot.

the frightening: … nothing? really?  no first-team offense out there to disappoint; nothing thrilling on offense or defense but nothing terrible either.

the fun: flags.  so many flags. i know you all were thrilled when you saw those little flashes of yellow across your screen.  “oh another flag, well isn’t this just dandy.” there is nothing better than flags on back-to-back plays. except flags on back-to-back-to-back plays.  so thankful that this sport and these flags are back in our lives.



The football drought is over and there’s a lot to get hype about!

Special teams is looking faster with more sure tackling than the unit has had in the last few seasons. Neiko Thorpe looks solid at gunner and Shaquem Griffin looks like he’s improved on wrapping up for tackles.

Offensively, I thought DK Metcalf would be the highlight reel, but Paxton Lynch was the surprise. After his first baby giraffe-like scramble, Lynch actually looked very comfortable and showed chemistry with receivers.

The team has been searching for a defensive identity since the LOB came to its demise in 2017. We may never again see a defense as formidable in our lifetime, but catching glimpses of that fear-inducing mentality again is exciting. I don’t care if he was a split second late on the hit to Nick Williams; Marquise Blair was out there setting tones. Coach him up, allow him to gain some game speed experience, and unleash that savagery on offenses, please and thank you. His talent may be raw, but with hard hits like that, his presence will be felt.

Among all the new faces, it was comforting having another player on the field who was there for Super Bowls 48 and 49. DeShawn Shead always felt like one of the ones that got away because of an injury near the end of the 2016 season. Last night, he didn’t waste any time showing he belongs in Seattle after sacking Drew Lock for a safety on a well-timed blitz.

They’ll tell you it’s game one of preseason and it’s too early to get jacked about a win. But dammit, the Seahawks are back and Tom Cable still isn’t.


Michael S

There were plenty of bright spots in the Seahawks’ first preseason game against the Broncos: Marquise Blair displayed a ton of raw talent, JAZZ HANDS is now definitely a thing and Xavier Turner showed a bit of burst and power.

But tonight belonged to one man and one man only.

Much like John Wick, Paxton Lynch looked at his former teammates and declared that he did indeed think he was back. Wick, I mean, Lynch, mowed down the Denver backups through the air with surgical precision and on the ground with brutal intent. On his late-game touchdown run, he even evoked shades of the last Lynch to don the College Navy and Action Green.

“I’m thinking I’m back!”

Tonight was Paxton’s night. It will have little to do with the overall outcome of the Seahawks’ season but at least it was football and at least it was back.


Mike C

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Though there are many new faces (What do you mean #79 isn’t Red Bryant?), Seahawks football remains comfortably familiar. The defense, led by a stout defensive line that generated little to no pass rush, stops the Broncos run game with the exceptions of a big play that leads to points (bend but don’t break!). The offense keeps feeding the running back, then draws stupid penalties, then, somehow converts third and long, then misses a field goal with this new kicker that they signed in free agency. I laugh at how pitiful our first drives are and go to bed. Our quarterbacks throw less than 20 times. An offensive lineman who is coincidentally the darling of Seahawks Twitter gets hurt. Some random undrafted wide receiver makes a big play and probably will not pass waivers when we cut to 53. Then the Seahawks benefit from three and outs, a few turnovers, a big break in penalties, and win in a close game. Safe, predictable football, like a script from Game of Thrones season 8. (Except that Game of Thrones might actually take home trophies.)

We rile a lot on Pete Carroll for being stubborn and refusing to adapt to new trends of the game. But as we have seen in the past ten years, the results are consistent and arguably, superior. And so if Carrollism – the practice of winning an NFL game through running, defense, and turnovers – works, should we not veer from it too much? It’s not like the Seahawks just gave $35M APY to the best quarterback in the NFL.

Wait, they made D.K. Metcalf run a bubble screen? I take it all back, change is bad. Just keep running, Pete.





I watched way more of that preseason game that it probably deserved. The secondary looked exactly like you’d expect it to if you believe Pete Carroll actually is a master DB’s coach (he is). It was extremely encouraging to watch Quill, Amadi, and Blair all make plays.

The other group that drew most of my attention was the wide receivers. Pete, for the love of all things holy, please, keep six wide receivers. I don’t want to go through another Kasen Williams fiasco. (I know Kasen fizzled out anyway, but that’s beside the point.) I can already see it coming down to Jazz vs. Ursua for the fifth and final WR roster spot come week one, and I’m telling you, it doesn’t have to be like this. Keep them both. It’s okay. Also Paxton for QB2, apparently.


Mike B



John Schneider has his groove back. Marquise Blair is going to be a starting safety soon, John Ursua (Hello #JohnHive!) has sticky hands and ballerina feet, and everyone who wrote Rashaad Penny off should book an appointment at the tattoo parlor for some apology ink.

Russell Wilson to DK Metcalf is going to be filthy. Eventually. Geno Smith to DK? …eh

One more take! There is still room for one more take! Smith will be starting for the Giants in Week 9, because of #PaxMode.

Shoulda handed it off to Pax, every fan has always said.