The NFL must ban Russell Wilson

In last week’s close-fought victory by the Seahawks over the 49ers, a key play at the end of the third quarter may have ended the visiting team’s comeback bid. After a 5-yard Chris Carson body blow, the Seahawks rushed into hurry-up mode, desperate to get one more score and hold off the onslaught from Jimmy Garoppolo C.J. Beathard Nick Mullens. Somehow, during this play, the lynchpin of San Francisco’s defense, Fred Warner, lost a shoe. Could Russell Wilson be the one to have pulled it off? The film is inconclusive, but I think we can make some inferences based on his history in the league.

What came next is truly disgraceful.






We live in a society; a society of laws and norms. And Russell Wilson (once again!) flagrantly disregards them whenever it is expedient.

Look at this picture.


Is Russell Wilson the Batman? No! And yet this Joker dons the costume of the Caped Crusader in a misguided attempt to delude us.

Anyways, back to the game. Wilson threw the shoe knowing FULL WELL that it would cause the Niners to go offsides AND make Kyle Shanahan say a distastefully profane word, giving the Seahawks an extra 15 yards. Does Seattle still win the game without those free 15 yards? It’s tough to say.

Now, you may be wondering why shouldn’t we expect the league to be lenient. It is his first offense after all.


Russell Wilson has been a deceptive little SOB for years now. A not-at-all comprehensive rundown of his various offenses.

1. He uses play-action. Also known as the play-FAKE, these lies are a disgrace to the league. Wilson continues to profit off of this deception without sharing the wealth with the hard working running backs that make his success possible. The generational talents in Seattle’s backfield are overshadowed by Russell’s throws. Well it takes two to tango and Russell’s stats, when passing to himself, are horrendous: Wilson is averaging -11.0 yards per target when passing to himself compared to 8.3 yards when throwing to not-Russell Wilson. Stick that delta in your pipe and smoke it. It is clear to see that Wilson is being carried by the Seahawks’ receiving talent.

2. He uses read-option. Like #analytics articles from Ben Baldwin, these plays are reading-optional. That means that Russ forces a defender to commit to tackling him or the running back without knowing who has the ball.  @NFL HOW IS THIS ALLOWED?  How is it any different than Russ sticking the ball under his shirt?  The read-option is literally the only reason Russell is any good and for him to use it like a crutch smears the good name of the NFL that Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder have built.

3. He literally hides behind his offensive line.  I don’t need to look up the stats to tell me what I can see with my own eyes.  The height difference between Russell Wilson and his offensive lineman gives him an undeniable advantage. If defenders can’t find him, how can they tackle him? A real quarterback like Andrew Luck stands tall in the pocket so the defense knows exactly where he is at all times. It’s truly a credit to Luck’s talent that he can put up even close to league average pass yards per attempt with such an unfortunate trait.

I take no pleasure in reporting this, but Roger Goodell needs to tear down the wall; ban this man from the NFL. It’s the only way to save the league from the concussion scandal, kneeling scandal, the domestic violence scandal(s), the anti-FA running back sect, and the wide-right devotees of Blair Walsh. There simply is no other way.

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