T*steful Roundup: CarLOLina Edition

Welcome back to another Victory Monday version of THE T*STEFUL ROUNDUP.

Contributors, guest-posters, and all sorts of rascals from the BeastGlobe will write up a brief chunk of text discussing their thoughts from the previous night’s game. It will likely be a combination of humor, insight, knowledge, ineptitude, and everything in between.

Enjoy these words from all of these nerds.

Mike C:

A win is a win is a win is a win. Even though we should be thanking Graham Gano for missing his usual 50+ yard field goal, it felt like this game was particularly special. Maybe I’m still reeling from the other day’s Seahawks Twitter argument about paying Russell Wilson $35M and keeping Pete Carroll as a head coach. The slow and stagnant first half put the case forward for why they should be separated; the exciting and cathartic second showed what happens when the two sides work with each other.

The touchdown to David Moore on 4th and 3 should remind you of a similar play almost five years ago in the NFC Championship, when the Seahawks were down 17-13 against the 49ers at home and Russell Wilson threw a strike to Jermaine Kearse from the 35-yard line for the game-winner. However, the only reason Carroll told Russ to go for it that night was that Hauschka would’ve kicked against wind, making the field goal nearly impossible. Perhaps it’s a stretch, but I’m glad that Pete didn’t elect to punt or kick and trust in his defense when they were down 27-20. And if Pete can learn to trust Russell to make the throw – to know that his offense can play for the touchdown – maybe there’s hope for this team yet.

By the way, Tyler Lockett earning his contract is quite something – I’m glad that he has helped us forget what Paul Richardson is doing.

Shoutout to Luke Kuechly, who will never be as good as Bobby Wagner.

Nathan B:

CHRISTIAN MCCAFFREY THE ALL EMPTY CARB DIET OF RUNNING BACK

CHRISTIAN MCCAFFREY THE SILICON VALLEY STARTUP WITH VC FROM HIS DADDY WHO ONLY FAILS UPWARD

CHRISTIAN MCCAFFREY LOOKING UP AT THE VIDEO BOARD, ANOTHER WHITE MAN DESPERATELY, FUTILELY TRYING TO PRESERVE THE HEAD START GRANTED TO HIM BY OTHERS

the football men got me all wound up

WHILE YOU WERE READING THIS ROUNDUP CHRISTIAN MCCAFFREY JUST FUMBLED AGAIN

Nathan E:

Seattle has beaten okay teams at home (Cowboys, Packers), thumped bad teams on the road (Lions, Raiders), taken away some moral victories against a few of the best teams in the league (Rams x2, Chargers), and now has a massively consequential road win against a playoff contender under their belts.

The Seahawks saw their playoff odds swing drastically in their favor with the win against Carolina, but they’ve also left no doubt that they belong in the playoffs. They’re still a long way from turning odds into reality but they have as much claim to one of the Wild Card spots as any other team in the NFC.

Coleman:

The 2018 Seahawks aren’t good, or bad. They’re in football purgatory: good enough to compete with great teams and bad enough to lose to the best of them.

But godamnit are they fun to watch.

This season has been the most fun I’ve had watching the Seahawks since 2015. The expectations were so high in ’15 that we expected to at least make it to the NFC Championship Game, but were satisfied with Wilson going on a mind-bending streak of being the best passer in the NFL bar none. The expectations for ’16 were just as high, yet the season started with what should have been a multi-week injury for Wilson with a sprained ankle that became a should’ve been season ending knee injury in Week 3. That, for all intents and purposes, ruined not just 2016 but also parts of 2017 and 2018. Last year was supposed to be a redo of 2013 with an influx of youth from draft, but it was as far from 2013 as it could be, with Wilson posting a career high in attempts and tying his high for interceptions and touchdowns. Meanwhile, the rushing attack was ineffective at best and detrimental at worst.

The 2018 season has been good because it’s fun; not because the Seahawks are world-beaters. There are no Super Bowl expectations. Hell, there were barely even playoff expectations to begin the year. Now positioned to have a real chance at the playoffs going into the home stretch of the season, it’s fun to be the underdog again.

It’s where this team thrives.

Sam:

Fourth quarter. Three and a half minutes remaining. Fourth down. Game on the line. Season on the line.

I had a bad feeling about how this would go. Seattle has been a great running team in 2018 but couldn’t get anything going on the ground against the Panthers. The odds that Schotty’s trust in the run game would lead to him calling a run play seemed just as high as the Seahawks getting stopped short. Plus (and I will never repeat this) I’ve been more nervous about Russell Wilson’s comeback magic lately — he hasn’t been quite the same in these situations, as we grew accustomed to from 2012-2016.

But of course Russell Wilson reminded me he can still be a fourth quarter demigod and that I am dumb.

Sure he could’ve attempted the 3 yard completion at the sticks and lived to fight another down.

But no, he is still a goddamn magician and instead decided to throw a THIRTY FIVE YARD TOUCHDOWN PASS.

Russell Wilson in the fourth quarter is an assassin. If you are an opposing defense, you are gassed and weakened and Russ has been setting you up for this. You should be terrified.(It’d be great if Seattle’s defense decided to show up between the 20’s next week though?)

John:

The Seahawks are fun. Pete Carroll is dancing with the team, the big plays are back, and our blue-green boys find a way to win games they shouldn’t. The Seahawks are getting better week by week, and are not outclassed by any team in the entire league.

Russell Wilson can take over games when he needs to, the stud running back smashes through tackle after tackle after tackle after tackle okay I’ll stop, the smallish receiver is feisty and ferocious, the kicker is nails, and the young secondary is hungrier than a teenager at 2 p.m. on Thanksgiving.

Bobby Wagner is Bobby Wagner. (Some things do not change.)

Stop me (don’t) if this keeps sounding familiar: one position group fails to show up consistently, but the rest of the talent on the roster is sufficient to overcome it. The maligned coordinator gets the job done, with 30-point games on the regular.

The doubters are many. The Seahawks will not win the division this season, but they are ramping up for a deep run in the playoffs, through the sorry NFC East winner and then on to a date with a top, but overrated team. There is destiny to be fulfiled, if only the Seahawks can claim it before it wisps away.

What year is it again?

Mike B:

Would you like to know the predominant reason that the Seahawks beat the Panthers?

Would you?

I’m about to tell you.

Come close, my friend.

So I can tell you…

…the reason that the Seahawks beat the Panthers.

The reason is…

.

.

.

A C C O U N T A B I L I T Y

(lmfao they had no business winning that game and yet they did and also fuck the rams)

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