T*steful Roundup: CoWboys Edition


Experience the triumphant return of the roundup. Contributors, guest-posters, and all sorts of rascals from the BeastGlobe wrote stuff about Seattle’s first win of the season.

Enjoy these words from all of these nerds.


In a game that featured a stunning rushing attack averaging a blistering 3.2 yards per carry and not a single designed run by Russell Wilson (three games and counting), the Seahawks established dominance over the Dallas Cowboys.

Earl Thomas III proved to be Mr. RightPlaceRightTime twice in one day, snagging two deflected passes for interceptions. Bradley McDougald went full NES with the PunchOut, making Zeke look sillier than a running back holding out for record-setting money in the current contract era.

For the first time this season, the 2018 Seahawks looked like the Seahawks we know. While the drama continues between the front office and Earl, at least for one night our collective father was in prime form.

Game ball: The defense collectively held Dak Prescott to 3.5 yards per pass attempt and kept Dallas out of the end zone until the fourth quarter

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Was that Robespierre taking snaps from Joey Hunt today? Cus that field general was executing like it was 1793.

The execution, more than any specific playcalling strategy, was the difference between the offensive showing in this game and the offensive showings in the previous games. Russ looked crisp and decisive with his reads and was delivering frozen ropes all day long. Basically everything was working.

If the offense can keep this up, then the Seahawks can play spoiler all season long.

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As a kid who grew up in the desert, I often dreamt of one day living in Washington and being able to go to Seahawks games in my own backyard. Yesterday was the first game I attended as a local, cheering for the home team… and what an experience it was! The pure emotion I had watching Kam Chancellor raise the 12th Man flag literally brought me to tears. There will never be another one like him. I’m so freaking happy I was alive to see him play, and wish nothing but blessings for him and Tiffany in their next chapter of life. The energy he provided to all in attendance was jolting and we all fed off of it until the final whistle.

31 Forever.

This bounce back was what everyone needed. Players, coaches, fans, media, etc. There’s been an incredibly high standard set by this team over the better part of the past decade, with frustrations peaking over the last two weeks. True to Seahawks fan tilt, the world may as well have been ending two days ago. Now, a new hope rises as they look to build off this victory, heading to my hometown to face a Cardinals team that may already be mailing in their season.

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Cowboys? More like Wowboys folks because holy shit did they get their asses whooped by the Seahawks.

I have just a few reactions to Sunday’s contest:

  1. Pay Earl Thomas.
  2. Pay Earl Thomas.
  3. Yes I know the safety market is depressed and the team is spooked after Kam’s extension. I don’t care. Pay Earl Thomas.
  4. I was hoping that Jarran Reed was going to take another big step this season and oh boy did he look nice today. Our biggest boy from East Mississippi State literally stunted on Dak to the tune of two sacks.
  5. However much love you’re giving Bradley McDougald isn’t enough. The dude is unreal.
  6. The corners are dope. Shaquill Griffin is a legit CB1 and Justin Coleman is awesome in the slot. You don’t hear their names often which is the best of signs. Tre Flowers has gotten got a few times but you can see his progression in only his second start. What a fun group.
  7. Tyler Lockett is a hell of a player. It’s tough to say that his contract is a confirmed good move after only three games, especially when I still don’t understand why they needed to get the deal done before the season even started, but No-E is really picking it up with Doug Baldwin on the sideline. Simultaneously a home run hitter and mover of chains.
  8. Brandon Marshall had a rough day.
  9. Russ’s throw to Brandon Marshall down the right sideline was perfection. There’s really no other way to put it. Just a flawless pitch and catch.
  10.  Russell looked really good overall today. He was decisive, got the ball out on time, and the offense was visibly better for it.
  11. How dare the Seahawks immediately bestow the jersey number of the franchise’s most prolific player upon Keenan Reynolds…
  12. Pay Earl Thomas.
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